Resume Writer's Prayer

by William Seavey

God grant me the serenity to stay cool under the pressures of "Can I have it by noon today?" and "What can you do for $5?"

God grant me the patience to repeatedly explain that "resume" is not pronounced "re-zoom" and doesn't mean "life story."

God grant me the power to turn men over 50 into young lions, divorced women into childless singles, and job hoppers into corporate careerists.

God grant me the presence of mind to find one more synonym for the words "dependable," "hard working," and "establishes good rapport."

God grant me the courage to calmly remind my clients that the "$8 and up" services provided by other resume businesses usually turn out to cost "and up."

God grant me the intelligence to understand the chicken scratches a client euphemistically calls "notes" or "outline."

God grant me the empathy to console one more frustrated job seeker who has already been everywhere but my resume service.

And, God grant me the wisdom to type one last resume, put a sign on the door, "Gone Fishin'," and get back to work on my real love, the Great American Novel.